Well, gents I've come to a crossroads: either my fan is broken, I'm stupid, or I'm missing something on the harness and I just can't get the fan to turn on!
I have a new fan I think I'll ty and wire in and see if it can be made work before I endeavor to take the old one out. Also on my harness it seems as though I'm missing a ground wire. I have 2 black wires terminated together in a female spade terminal, as well as a black wire and a red-and-black wire terminated in female spade but that still leaves me short a wire that should go from the thermo switch to the relay so it seems.
On another electrical front I have a bundle of bullet terminated wires that I have no idea as to the function of. They branch off from the harness close to the wiper motor plug toward the passenger side and I can't seem to find anything like them on the wiring diagram, except for the lights and blinkers and stalk controls, but there already seems to be those on the driver's side. Once again I'm completely stumped. Does Autosparks just double up the harness for LHD and RHD compatibility?