Yes, I know, it's meant to be a joke but for the past couple of weeks I've been taking it very seriously indeed....
So, winter is round the corner, all our lanes are full of mud from the tractors and I don't want to get the Europa dirty, so it goes into the garage for a while. To do that, a car must come out so I decide that maybe the Elise could do with a bit of a clean.... yes, I always start out like that.
Fit a battery and despite not having moved for at least a couple of years, it fires up into life, neither the clutch or brakes are stuck so it swaps places with the Europa in the workshop. Amazing. At my age I can do without shocks to the system like that, I'm used to a bit of a struggle so this is all a bit odd.
And then......
First thing is I notice the bonnet badge move a touch when I give it all a polish. Then I see a rust stain at the edge. Prod it a bit, and it falls off. Good old Lotus, a true collectors car. (for those that haven't heard it, with a collectors car you drive down the road, stop and go back to collect all the bits that have fallen off)
Now the badge bolts on like our cars so I fiddle around trying to get to the back of the panel and find, well, you can't. But whilst doing that I see one of the front driving lamps has rusted it's holder and it moves about. So that needs fixing if I want an MoT. Take off the front grille and, well, you can't get to all the bolts holding the lamps in. When completely stuck, read the manual. To replace lamps, remove front clamshell.... and also to replace bonnet badge, yes, you've got it.
So, to replace a badge and make up a couple of new driving lamp holders, the front comes off. Whilst doing that, one of the headlamps falls off as well, you really wouldn't believe how shoddy these cars are held together, sikaflex holding a mild steel M5 bolt which has, yes, rusted through.
Still, you can't argue, once all the front bodywork is on the floor you get great access to the front suspension
Brian